Time to get Blogging...

Hello....

Trying a new link up that I just stumbled upon
and wanted to be apart of...


So here goes...

As I have blogged for a little over a year on a different page I
started this one several months ago just for a place to put my thoughts.

I used to call my mom everyday and tell her everything that was going on
in my day, but now that she is passed away, I find myself holding in all of the
disappointments and stress that I would normally tell her and ask her advice.

So after a few months of being busy and not blogging, I have caught myself
missing the time that I spend on me and my thoughts as I am putting them down
on blogging paper...

So here is where I am at this current time in life...

D.I.V.O.R.C.E

After 17 years of marriage to my best friend and the father of my
two sons. We have unfortunately grown apart.
It seems to be a common trend this day and age. Of course I
was one of those people that didn't think it would happen to me.

WRONG!

It is happening.
Thankfully,
 we are able to be very civil to each other and I am
hoping that it will continue to be this way.
After all, he has been my best friend for 20 years.

Our 16 year old knows whats going on and I am pretty sure
that my 12 year old has surmised a lot as he's pretty darn smart.
By doing an uncontested divorce that was filed on June 3rd,
 we will go on Aug 5th to have the judge
sign the decree and it will be finished.

The grey area of waiting is the most difficult.
Since the home we live in was the home he grew up in, he
has asked me if he could keep it.
 I have agreed to this but with a very heavy heart.
I have lived here for six years,  painted every wall.
Scrubbed every grout line and made it my home.
However, I understand that after all it is his home.

Another fear that I have is being on my own.
I have never done this. I always had a roommate so to be on my
own will be a little different.
If you are wondering, yes the boys
are staying at the house with their dad.  They will have an open door
policy to my apartment. I am happy that I have been able to find a complex
that is nice, secure and affordable and within minutes of the house.
When discussing the boys we knew that we would have joint custody of
them as we are a close family and "J" and I neither one want the boys to suffer
for our separation. We just grew apart.

Enough for today...
XOXO

Overwhelmed.

I am so overwhelmed lately its crazy! I think most people get overwhelmed this time of year. However, for me right now, it has nothing to do with the holidays...

First off my 12 year old has been struggling with bullies in school. His science teacher! Yea... Not a kid. I have had two meetings this week trying to get to the bottom of it but of course the teacher didn't mean it and its my sons fault for being to sensitive. Oh ok, NOT! Since when is it ok to tell a kid his outfit looks like a clown. The teacher asked him if he got spirit day confused with his clown pants. Yea... I couldn't believe it either. My son wore a pair of bib overalls that I had painted last year for his brother to wear to state football finals. The legs are striped orange and black representing the school colors. Very common attire at the collage and pro level.

Secondly, I have had to go to the high school for the oldest son because his English teacher has not allowed him to correct some of his assignments which is not part of the ADD 504 label that Texas allows.  I don't understand how he got A's & B's in English last year but is struggling with this year. Then I meet with the teacher.... That explained it.

Lastly, I am stressed about my finals next week. I have two of the three take home finals finished. Yet the stress to make sure that they are perfect has me overwhelmed. The take home portions are 60% of the final. Therefore, if I totally bomb the in class portion I will still come out of class with a B, the books are so frustrating because they don't explain most answers verbatim. When your dealing with laws and contracts, being exact is a must. I'm trying to not sound ungrateful about take home tests but in some ways I think it's less stressful to just go in to class, take the test and be done. That's not how it is so I will do what I need to and concentrate on being finished one week from today! Wow... Time sure has went by fast!

Ali

Left Stupefied...

Does anyone else find the irony in what people say they are thankful for, compared to what their actions scream...

I thought I'd share a few things that have caught me of guard.

Take family for instance, a "friend" of mine put on facebook how thankful she was of her friends and family. She wouldn't know what she would do without them. However, within the next 30 minutes she had texted me about two of her siblings and what they were not bringing to Thanksgiving dinner. She also explained that she was hoping that the family would only stay to eat and leave as she had other things to do....

I am thankful for my children, one co-worker said to me. Yet she berated them and tore down their self esteem. I'm not sure if they actually know how to be giving. I am frustrated in how they have not achieved.  To me respect and understanding goes a long ways. It saddened me that my own son of the same age noticed these actions of the parent and child and questioned the relationship.

I am thankful for my marriage.... this one seems to be interesting for me lately.
I had someone admit to me that she just needs to make it two more years for her son to be out on his own and then her marriage would be better. The husband is not a fan of kids and she knew this going into the marriage  years ago. So being the puzzled nosy type of person, I asked why she married the man if she knew that it would be that hard.
Her comment has taken the cake at leaving me the most speechless of all..
"because I knew how my bread was getting buttered and I wasn't letting go of that butter churn...."

So as you can see, these three incidents happened this last couple of weeks leaving me to be somewhat
dumbfounded! Speechless.... or for a better word.... Stupefied!


Ali
What has left you stupefied lately?